3 - 2 - 1 - YOU'RE FIRED!

Olbermann.. fired. Or, indefinitely suspended. Why? Campaign contributions. I like the guy, but I had to stop watching him because it polluted my mind with all kinds of ideas that were not my own. I hope he gets another gig somewhere else. We need at least one wacko on our side.

~Nic

Better red than dead

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Justfuckinggoogleit.com

I am a very irritable person, by nature. Just ask anyone who's known me for any length of time.. it's just a simple fact - "Nic is an angry fucker". It's not because of any real mental issue, complex or otherwise (I've tried to find out if it was, and as far as I can tell, it's not).. it's probably simply because of a certain skin and hair 'condition' that I may or may not have(so I hear). But lately this has gone through the roof.. everything annoys me. I've been flipping out on people I don't even know lately.. stupid people asking stupid questions JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I THOUGHT GOOGLE WAS HERE TO SAVE US FROM THAT! But NO. Every dipshit cocksucker and their brother has to ask something that has an answer readily available in the first google result's quoted text. Moreover, the questions usually come to me in emails! Can you believe this!? The people asking these questions are sitting infront of the world's most vast information system ever conceived, and they WASTE THEIR FUCKING TIME sending me an email: "What's the filter size of xxxx lens?". You know how I find out? I FUCKING GOOGLE IT!

I mocked a woman today at the gas station (to her face). Talking, really really loud on her stupid ghetto cell phone about some fucking bullshit that whoever she's talking to probably doesn't even care about. I pulled out my cellphone, and pretended to talk on it saying "LOOK AT ME, I'M SO FUCKING COOL, I HAVE A CELL PHONE". I got an honest to GOD, first time "OH NO YOU DI-INT" look, to which I responded with a snide look and a movement of my head from side to side. I couldn't believe I did it.. but, at least, the clerk gave me a really warm smile. In retrospect, I guess I'm pretty fucking lucky I didn't get slugged.

Argh! The constant barrage of drug-money-bought or welfare-bought subwoofers is also really taking a toll on my spirit. Everywhere, not just at home -- It's like some asshole brought the prices of the goddamn things down so every dipshit fuckface can pointedly annoy everyone within a block distance.

Politics always make me angry.. it's like the sore tooth you can't stop tonguing. There's been some really fucking stupid shit showing up in the op-ed section of the STrib. Here's one of the latest ones that about made me throw a fucking chair: "...There is a school for pregnant teens. Because those teens made a mistake, taxpayers should pay for a special school?..."

How about this one "If candidates aren't pro-life then we cannot trust their judgment on any other issue. It doesn't matter whether they're running for Congress or the state Legislature, school board or for dog catcher." You've got to be fucking kidding me.

I can't even get a handle on a way to describe the level of absolute absurdity that's coming out of the GOD damn conservatives lately. It's like someone said:

"Well, there's seven deadly sins. Let's go down the list and make sure we've hit them all at least a billion fucking times. Since we're saved Christians, we can just ask Jesus to forgive us and all will be well.

1. Lust: We've got that covered. We're pretty good at putting loads of hot blond idiots on our cult-like cable TV 'news' outlet, we'd rather have our women be pretty office assistants than executives, and to make it even better, we can pay the less than their male counterparts

2. Gluttony: We're really good at hoarding money.. but as for food, that's the next thing we've got to do. At least in Texas our portions are ridiculously large.. and there's always OCB

3. Greed: We thought we had this covered end to end, but apparently getting our henchmen to bring the marginal business tax rates really fucking low, and capital gains taxes down as far as possible wasn't enough. We also need to berate the poor more often, come up with really neat ways to weasel people out of everything they have AND make them out to be the douche bags instead of us. ALWAYS call the money collected for the greater good 'stealing'. We've got work to do here for sure, there is no upper limit on greed.

4. Sloth: At work, we do as little as possible. 'that's not my job' used to be reserved for union members, as we always said.. but now we can get by with saying that, and if anyone says anything we can say 'But that's what the unions you love so much always say'

5. Wrath: Tea-party

6. Pride: I have a job, and I can get everything I need on my own. What's wrong with all these lazy assholes who collect MY TAX DOLLARS on unemployment? We need to do a better job however, working up people into a nationalist fit of 'MERICA! And further promote platitudes regarding things we hardly understand, such as 'freedom' and 'liberty'.

7. Vainty: We drive really nice cars, marry beautiful women for shallow reasons, teach our kids to care deeply about how the Jonses' think of them and basically spend our lives manicuring our outward image. This needs work also"

I didn't proof read that, or much, but I think my point shows up, at least a little. Now stop annoying me, and do something productive. Sloth.

~Nic

Public frameworks are for houses, not real programmers.

Yes. I'm guilty. I thought I was one of the only people in the entire fucking world that isn't interested in learning a "programming language" on top of another programming language. (Apparently only hip and cool "programmers" use frameworks) Yes, I use an AJAX framework, and a couple other for very specific tasks (these are really just libraries) but not an entire-fucking-website framework that basically builds the site for me. Why? Because when whatever is underlying the framework doesn't work right I'm as good as fucked.. I don't know where in the hell I'm going to find the lines to change in this enormous programming language that is made on top of a programming language. Not to mention, everything looks the same these days because most of this shit is built with stupid frameworks.

Web 2.0 = "Look I can interact with shit, but it all looks the same" furthermore; "We're still using the same bullshit web browser model we used in 1995" lastly; "we're not creative enough to come up with an entire new concept, so we'll just build on something that was a good idea 15 years ago, and put 2.0 after it" -- go fuck yourself.

I was pointed to this framework/"rapid" development by a friend Gunar, a German programmer I met who swears by these fucking things. I ask myself: what in the fuck are you going to do if your framework doesn't support the specific thing you're trying to do? Are you going to trace through the entire framework, learn exactly how it works, and implement your feature first into the framework, and THEN into the actual project? No, you're simply going to tell your client that "that feature is impossible". Something I have heard an awful lot, and since I know the actual languages, not a stupid framework, I can actually make that shit happen.

I have my own frameworks, that's how this is meant to be: I have a library of functions,classes and their methods that I use, know how to use and hope to GOD I never have to explain how to use. For instance; newSelectDB($connect[], $db, $table, $cols, $where, $order) grabs whatever the hell I need from a database. The $connect is an array: [host], [uname], [pass], [port]. I am sure there's a GOD damn framework that has that same thing, or something similar, but when I need to change something.. maybe do a query inside of a query (not in for instance), I can simply rewrite a portion of it, make a new method and bam. From that class I can iterate through records nicely by $class->forward(); or even forward($numRecords). I know how it works, if shit breaks, I can fix it.

Rapid Development(tm): stupid. Every time I've worked on a project I've had half a brain to keep the customer posted (looking at the work) until it's done. If a problem comes up, I fix it. This "paradigm", read literally, says: "I know you're making a webstore.. but you have to make small advances, and releases".. so your customer's customer's for maybe an online store... "Check out our new store, it has a shopping cart!" of course, that particular release was the first, and the only fuckin' think you have is a shopping cart... no actual item displays, etc. The term was coined because people are jealous of their highschool buddies who became doctors and get to use fancy Latin words.. the felt left out, so they came up with their own phrases. But it's somehow still the doctors who are porking the hot nurses.

fuck frameworks, and the time wasted learning how to use someone else's functions. Write your own functions

(I know I'm not the only one: Why frameworks suck)

I am sure no one who reads this gives a shit, but whatever.. go framework yourself.

EDIT: I actually bothered to read the article I referenced: "What you type could be native to the language or it could be part of a framework. But once you’re using it, it’d be a lot of work to take it out. You certainly can’t replace a framework once you’ve started using it." Word.


~Nic

To clarify..

The big thing now is to have everything congress does checked against its "constitutionality" (which is just another way to reject things you don't like.. how is some fuckoff senator from Texas more qualified than a legal scholar in deciding what is and is not constitutional? ) THIS IS WHY WE HAVE A JUDICIAL BRANCH! (though some argue against even that) JFC, Take a civics class!@#$%^&! This is from the new "contract [on] America" coming from the GOP. It's interesting, let me just parse this out a bit.

"The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;.."

It's interesting how "provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States" is interpreted.. here's a quote from the idiots at usconstitution.net:

"

Welfare
welfare n. 1. health, happiness, or prosperity; well-being. [wel faren, to fare well] Source: AHD

Welfare in today's context also means organized efforts on the part of public or private organizations to benefit the poor, or simply public assistance. This is not the meaning of the word as used in the Constitution.

"

The second part is an editorial. It seems to be in direct conflict with the definition they've pulled from a "period dictionary". This fight has been raging for a long time, but it seems pretty fucking clear cut to me: the constitution directly charges congress with the task of "[providing] for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States". Unless, of course, providing for health, happiness, prosperity really just means giving those with enough plenty more. I am fairly certain that was not what was in mind. I suppose a really good way to positively determine that the quoted portion of the US Constitution is to read the objections to it brought up in the federalist papers.. Some didn't want that in there because it DIRECTLY OBLIGED CONGRESS TO DO JUST WHAT THEY SAY IT ISN'T SUPPOSED TO! ...They didn't want the government to create a safety net, and to that end objected to that being in the constitution. We can therefore conclude, with very little question, that the quoted piece means exactly what we think it means. It's interesting how the right claims to have a monopoly on the constitution, when in reality the thing was a compromise between the same two opposing sides we see today.

Fucking assholes. You'd have to interpret the damn thing to make that paragraph be anything OTHER than providing a social safety net, roads, schools, etc, etc etc.

Sorry about the caps. This is obviously a point of anger for me.

~Nic

Have you driven a Ford crazy?

This find warranted a post of its own:

“Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason why so few engage in it.”
—Henry Ford




You're welcome.

~Nic

Pop goes the weasel

Pop culture, entertainment news and the like are not on my list of things I pay any attention to. But today, I found "Lady Gaga"'s name under the politics heading on CNN.com (here). The last line was this comment regarding don't ask don't tell:

"We are not asking you to agree with or approve the moral implications of homosexuality, we are asking you to do your job, to protect the constitution."

That about knocked me out of my fucking chair. Well put. Especially well put, considering the source. For most anyone else, I'd ask them what specifically in the constitution they were referring to (perhaps the declaration of independence?), but I'll let it go here. Kudos.

~Nic