Friday, October 22, 2010

I am a very irritable person, by nature. Just ask anyone who's known me for any length of time.. it's just a simple fact - "Nic is an angry fucker". It's not because of any real mental issue, complex or otherwise (I've tried to find out if it was, and as far as I can tell, it's not).. it's probably simply because of a certain skin and hair 'condition' that I may or may not have(so I hear). But lately this has gone through the roof.. everything annoys me. I've been flipping out on people I don't even know lately.. stupid people asking stupid questions JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I THOUGHT GOOGLE WAS HERE TO SAVE US FROM THAT! But NO. Every dipshit cocksucker and their brother has to ask something that has an answer readily available in the first google result's quoted text. Moreover, the questions usually come to me in emails! Can you believe this!? The people asking these questions are sitting infront of the world's most vast information system ever conceived, and they WASTE THEIR FUCKING TIME sending me an email: "What's the filter size of xxxx lens?". You know how I find out? I FUCKING GOOGLE IT!

I mocked a woman today at the gas station (to her face). Talking, really really loud on her stupid ghetto cell phone about some fucking bullshit that whoever she's talking to probably doesn't even care about. I pulled out my cellphone, and pretended to talk on it saying "LOOK AT ME, I'M SO FUCKING COOL, I HAVE A CELL PHONE". I got an honest to GOD, first time "OH NO YOU DI-INT" look, to which I responded with a snide look and a movement of my head from side to side. I couldn't believe I did it.. but, at least, the clerk gave me a really warm smile. In retrospect, I guess I'm pretty fucking lucky I didn't get slugged.

Argh! The constant barrage of drug-money-bought or welfare-bought subwoofers is also really taking a toll on my spirit. Everywhere, not just at home -- It's like some asshole brought the prices of the goddamn things down so every dipshit fuckface can pointedly annoy everyone within a block distance.

Politics always make me angry.. it's like the sore tooth you can't stop tonguing. There's been some really fucking stupid shit showing up in the op-ed section of the STrib. Here's one of the latest ones that about made me throw a fucking chair: "...There is a school for pregnant teens. Because those teens made a mistake, taxpayers should pay for a special school?..."

How about this one "If candidates aren't pro-life then we cannot trust their judgment on any other issue. It doesn't matter whether they're running for Congress or the state Legislature, school board or for dog catcher." You've got to be fucking kidding me.

I can't even get a handle on a way to describe the level of absolute absurdity that's coming out of the GOD damn conservatives lately. It's like someone said:

"Well, there's seven deadly sins. Let's go down the list and make sure we've hit them all at least a billion fucking times. Since we're saved Christians, we can just ask Jesus to forgive us and all will be well.

1. Lust: We've got that covered. We're pretty good at putting loads of hot blond idiots on our cult-like cable TV 'news' outlet, we'd rather have our women be pretty office assistants than executives, and to make it even better, we can pay the less than their male counterparts

2. Gluttony: We're really good at hoarding money.. but as for food, that's the next thing we've got to do. At least in Texas our portions are ridiculously large.. and there's always OCB

3. Greed: We thought we had this covered end to end, but apparently getting our henchmen to bring the marginal business tax rates really fucking low, and capital gains taxes down as far as possible wasn't enough. We also need to berate the poor more often, come up with really neat ways to weasel people out of everything they have AND make them out to be the douche bags instead of us. ALWAYS call the money collected for the greater good 'stealing'. We've got work to do here for sure, there is no upper limit on greed.

4. Sloth: At work, we do as little as possible. 'that's not my job' used to be reserved for union members, as we always said.. but now we can get by with saying that, and if anyone says anything we can say 'But that's what the unions you love so much always say'

5. Wrath: Tea-party

6. Pride: I have a job, and I can get everything I need on my own. What's wrong with all these lazy assholes who collect MY TAX DOLLARS on unemployment? We need to do a better job however, working up people into a nationalist fit of 'MERICA! And further promote platitudes regarding things we hardly understand, such as 'freedom' and 'liberty'.

7. Vainty: We drive really nice cars, marry beautiful women for shallow reasons, teach our kids to care deeply about how the Jonses' think of them and basically spend our lives manicuring our outward image. This needs work also"

I didn't proof read that, or much, but I think my point shows up, at least a little. Now stop annoying me, and do something productive. Sloth.


1 comment:

Danger Kitty Designs said...

The other day I had a question for someone (I don't think it was even you, though it might have been). I decided I'd better Google it instead of texting. Feel confident that you have trained at least one person.