Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Failin' with Palin 2.0

So Bristol's "memoir" came out yesterday. I have no desire to read it, but I had to do a little bit of research to pacify my curiosity of what in the fuck that person could possibly write about. Well, of course, denial, victim-hood, and other staples of the conservative American:

Bristol starts off her story with the night her virginity was "stolen" by Johnston, saying she had succumbed for the first time in her life to the "woozy charms" of wine coolers while on a camping trip with friends. She woke up the following morning next to Johnston's empty sleeping bag in a tent and found out that the two had slept together–an event, she writes, she couldn't recall.

OK - a few things I have to point out here: wine coolers don't actually contain alcohol. They just piggyback the placebo effect. At least - the few times I've drank them, I couldn't even get a headache. Also, at that age I couldn't blackout if I tried, that apparently comes later. I was forced to remember, in vivid detail, every drunk-beyond-imagination stupidity I found myself doing. This -- Palin 2.0 -- is pure bullshit, and a dodge of responsibility. If it's true, it sounds like rape, but since the [nice young woman] already claimed she can't remember anything, she'd find herself hard-pressed to prove that she didn't actually say "fuck me please" the whole night.

Bristol writes, concluding that she immediately felt obligated to marry Johnston, a boy she had a crush on since the seventh grade.

Now, it's not my place to say this, but this is, after all, the internet; sounds like dude was set-up. ..just sayin'.

"Let's just say Track was an 'abstinence only' advocate when it came to his sisters, and he was ready to enforce that philosophy with his fists," Bristol writes, although she doesn't fully disclose what happened at Johnston's house.

The book describes Johnston as a disloyal boyfriend who had "occasional romps with other girls."

This family has no credibility. They stand for all the hypocrisy that is conservative America. No wonder they're stars -- 50% or so of the population sees themselves on TV, and riding across the country in a goddamn bus, only to bail when no one pays attention.

It'll be fun watching her/them self destruct in the coming years.


No comments: